On a flight back from an event last week, I watched Gary Neville interview Paul Scholes. Both were part of the record-breaking Manchester United team.
Neville asked him a simple question: “Who was your favourite teammate to play with?”
Scholes didn’t hesitate. “Ruud van Nistelrooy.”
Neville pressed him: “Why Ruud?”
Scholes’ answer was beautiful in its simplicity: “Because I didn’t need to say anything. I just knew exactly where he wanted the ball, and he knew exactly what run to make. With him, I didn’t have to think twice. It was instinct.”
Scholes went further.
“People think football is about kicking a ball. It’s not. It’s about relationships. It’s about really understanding your team mates”
Of course, that’s not just football, it’s everything.
Sport, business, at home. It’s all the same. It’s not the ones who shout the loudest or who are constantly explaining themselves. They’re the ones who understand each other so deeply that they don’t need to say much at all.
I saw this on our racing yacht. In the early days, the boat was noisy. Constant instructions flying across the deck, people correcting one another, explaining moves. But as we grew together, the noise started to fade. A glance across the cockpit, a tiny hand signal, and we all knew what it meant. No wasted words. Just flow.
When we became a silent boat, focused and high-performing.
I think that’s one marker of a great team: when communication shifts from noise to knowing. When you’ve listened, talked, and built such deep understanding that you can anticipate what the other person needs, usually before they even ask.
It’s tempting to think success is about skills or resources. But in my experience, the differentiator is this: the depth of understanding between people. That’s what unlocks extraordinary results.
That’s why spending time listening, learning and understanding as a team is so important.
Ever noticed that thing where a new CEO takes over and the first thing he does is he brings in his old CFO, CMO or CHRO? Same thing right. The depth of understanding and trust from deep relationships is such a powerful catalyst for growth.
Want better results? Work on deepening understanding and relationships. Work and home. Same thing.
Here’s three small experiments to play with based on this article:
2 Minute Experiment - Reflect on who you enjoy working with most and why?
5 Minute Experiment - Have a conversation with that person and share with them why you enjoy working with them. Listen to what they say and how they respond.
10 Minute Experiment - Reflect on what you can learn from that conversation and how you can use that insight to deepen relationships with other team members.