Resilience: Absorb or Adapt?
One of the things I’ve learnt from spending years at sea is that when the breeze builds, you don’t just hang on and hope that you and the boat can take it (often a recipe for breaking something).
You adapt.
You reef sails, change course, change the set up.
The conditions may not have changed. Your response has.
I wonder if we sometimes misunderstand resilience in exactly the same way.
We think it means absorbing more. Coping with more. Toughing it out for longer.
Nassim Nicholas Taleb offers a different perspective in his book Antifragile.
He describes three states.
Fragile things are damaged by pressure.
Resilient things withstand pressure and remain the same.
Antifragile things actually become better because of it.
That last one is interesting.
I wonder if we’re conditioned to pressure and just gritting it out and asking How much more can I take?
Isn’t the better question this:
What do I need to change because of what I’ve just learned?
I thinkresilience is less about absorbing pressure, and much more about adapting to it.
Let’s get practical - here’s three ideas to experiment with on this theme:
2 minutes. Spot it first
Think of one area of your life or work where you’re currently just absorbing pressure.
Ask the question - What am I simply putting up with?
5 minute. Brainstorm an adaptation
Ask : What can I change so I’m better equipped to deal with this next time?
A system? A conversation? A boundary? A skill? A different approach?
Pick one thing.
15 minutes. Make one change
Pick one current pressure you’re living with and ask
“What can I change? What will I change?
Then make one small change this week and see what happens.
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