When was the last time you asked someone if they were ok, and you got back “I’m fine”?
On hearing those words, you knew that “I’m fine” was the last thing they were.
What about you?
Ever caught yourself saying those words or similar?
My bet is we’ve all been on both sides of that conversation.
The reason I raise this is that one of the most common patterns I see of people who are both successful AND fulfilled is that they work hard to create Alignment with those around them,
A pattern I see time and again working with world-class leaders all over the world.
It’s that the teams they are a part of work hard to create powerful leadership experiences that aren’t about individual brilliance. They’re about the impact of the whole.
At a slew of recent events focused on senior leadership teams, the feedback that really stood out hasn’t been about any one person or speaker . It’s been about the experience as a whole. The sense of shared clarity, of feeling a part of something much bigger.
Drives me mad when I hear language like this.
It’s lazy cliched thinking which happens all too often at work, around the dinner table and down the pub.
Worse, I think it does real damage to our culture as a society.
Don’t take my word for it. Last month, Intergenerational England published a report titled, A Divided Kingdom. To quote:
"The UK is facing a stark level of age segregation.…
At a recent conference, I ran a simple but powerful exercise: past, present, future. It’s one of the exercises I regularly do with teams.
Everyone in the room, some 400 people were invited to rate themselves from 1 to 100 in each of those three modes and to stand and point to the direction of where they faced in terms of time.
What’s an unpopular opinion you have?
I’m sure you do. We all do, right?
But, how often do you vocalise it?
I wonder if it’s because our online worlds have become increasingly polarised and social media sites stoke division and argument, that we become fearful of expressing opinions that run counter to “acceptable narratives”.
Jigsaws. Remember them?
Used to be standard fare for birthday gifts for kids? Maybe you like us do one at Christmas?
Ever remember that feeling when you’re a good way into solving one and you get that stuck feeling.
You keep looking at the same pieces and you can’t see what ‘s missing.
You start to wonder if you’ve lost piece and whether you can all the way to the end.
That feeling!
I think that’s a bit like going after our big bold goals
Two things have been on my mind this week.
They both revolve around how we as humans have better conversations with each other.
I don’t think there’s anything more important right now as perhaps, you, like me see a rapid cultural decay in how we either build or destroy relationships.
The good news is we all have a choice and can exert control in our own worlds.
We live in an era of distraction, surface-level communication, and relentless busyness. People feel disconnected from themselves, their work, and even their families.
Leaders struggle with engagement. Couples battle unspoken tensions. Individuals wrestle with silent doubts.
The solution isn’t doing more, ”it’s asking better questions and having deeper conversations.
What if the one thing standing between you and your biggest goal isn’t skill, resources, or intelligence, but a conversation you haven’t had yet?
The truth is, most breakthroughs, whether in business, leadership, or life don’t happen because someone suddenly has more talent. They happen because someone steps up and has the conversation that truly matters.
The Conversations We Avoid